Year: 2022

First and foremost, keep your men happy and “inspired”.

After the Iron Curtain came down there were stories of secret police who had switched sides long ago, to spy for the dissidents. In one case, a Czechoslovakian spy-master was secretly running messages from the dissidents and underground chooches to the west, and ensuring the replies got through by using his own government-paid border couriers.

I know, it’s hard. Reality has a way of undermining certain doctrines (eventually).

“Consent of the Governed” has its limits

When the Chernobyl nuclear plant exploded, thousands rounded on the nearest government agent or informant saying “You should investigate those guys” indicating negligent party bosses and similar risk takers. Not only did the secret police realize everyone knew who they were but with the threat of imminent death from radiation, no one was afraid of them. People were begging to be sent to Siberia where the was no threat of radiation. They were thrown out of shops, refused services, and came home to find their locks glued up. The Party was beaten and they knew it.

Keep your enemies close. And always look both ways before crossing the street

There was a dissident in the 1980’s who was being regularly tracked by the secret police. One day he noticed he lost his tail. He doubled back to find that the spy had jaywalked to catch up and had been run over by a car. The dissident got the man to the hospital, paid a bribe for proper care, and contacted his family (since he knew the man’s name). The two men are the best of friends today.

Some dissidents manage to influence even the secret police

In Hungary after the fall of communism one dissident announced a ran for government office. Fifty people showed up the first day to help. Most were former secret police assigned to watch him over the years. They all wanted to help. Some could quote his secret samizdat newsletters by heart!

Obvious, but easy to forget

The greatest thing a dictator must fear is his own men. Once they switch sides it’s all over.

Some pointers, excerpted from Sarah Rivkah Kohn on Mishpacha:

That referral you got from your cousin may be a great one, but run it by someone who does many referrals. They can tell you if there have been any red flags in the past that your cousin may not know about from one experience.

Ask the question: What are you licensed as? Then look it up. For the fields of social work, mental health counseling, or marriage and family therapy, you want to have an L before the licensure. That tells you the clinician passed the licensing exam.

When you’re seeing a PhD, you want it to be in clinical psychology, psychology, or psychiatry. A doctor of philosophy also has a PhD but should not be practicing therapy.

Look up the licensing. It’s all public information. You will see the year the license was given. If you can’t find it, it’s possible the clinician is practicing under their legal name (e.g., Joseph instead of Yossi as you know him on the street) or it could be a woman has her license under her maiden name. All this is easy enough to clear up really quickly.

When sessions run erratically — sometimes they’re 30 minutes, sometimes two hours — that’s a red flag right there. Therapy sessions typically run 45–60 minutes for individual therapy and 60–90 minutes for couples or family therapy to give everyone a chance to talk. Some working with very young children will run 30-minute sessions if they feel that’s all the child can do.

Whatever the number is, for the most part that’s where it should stay. I’m not talking about the one-time crisis where a double session is planned for and needed. I’m talking about a session that doesn’t end when it should end. I’m talking about erratic timings.

This is often very appealing to people in a vulnerable state. It emits the I-will-be-here-for-you-as-long-as-you-need vibe. Good therapy, however, is built around boundaries. Healthy boundaries include a safe and consistent start and end time. If a therapist is not sticking to that core ethical value, I’d wonder and worry what other ethics are off.

Torah is true no matter the career choice. Firstly, know that some rabbanim feel that one shouldn’t see a clinician of the opposite gender at all. If, for whatever reason, you feel that you must nevertheless see a therapist of the opposite gender, ask how hilchos yichud are observed in their setting. Some use cameras pointed just at the clinician. Some have waiting rooms, windows facing outward, other shared offices — there are many options.

Obviously, the answer itself is important, but what’s more important is the immediate response and the tone in which it’s delivered. Is it one of genuine surprise, as though they’ve never thought of this before? Is it one of frustration and defensiveness? Or is it an open and confident, “Sure, here’s how I do it”? Listen carefully. Ask a sh’eilah if need be. But if you sense any frustration with you for asking the question, run the other way.

See the rest of it here (under the author’s name on the page)…

As a survivor of abuse, I resent the way Walder’s suicide was recieved by the powers that be in Bnei Brak. There have been so many times in my life that I contemplated suicide. The pain was too much to bear. Killing myself seemed like the only respite. I would fantasize about it and do things that would allow me to feel closer to death. But I never did it. Not because I was afraid, not because I didn’t want to, but because I would have to answer up to my creator. I knew that suicide would not really put me out of my misery but cause a whole new problem for all of eternity. I fulfilled the mitzvah of vechai ba’hem lishmah, without any other ulterior motive other than I cannot go against my creator. Then comes this monster, the one who caused so many people to find themselves in the same predicament as me, and for no other reason other than not being able to face the music when the party was over, goes and murders himself and gets kavod melachim. It’s a chilul Hashem at its finest! Don’t think for a minute that suicide didn’t just become a little lighter in the eyes of those struggling with it. Don’t think for a minute that adultery and pedophilia didn’t just become a little less severe in the eyes of those who commit them or are tempted to. The churban they caused is immeasurable!

(Found on VIN News here.)

מתוך עלון הרב יהושע גריינימן על פרשת בא:

ולטטפת בין עיניך וגו’ (י”ג ט”ז), בגמ’ אמרינן טט בכתפי שנים וכו’, ולכאו’ צריך ביאור הכונה, ועיין דרשות ר”י אבן שעיב (מזמן הרשב”א) פרשת נח ושל”ה וגור אריה וט”ז ועוד, דר”ל שנשתרבב תיבות מלשון הקודש לבין העמים כדאיתא בגמ’ בכמה מקומות, ולא דח”ו מביאין מהן ראיות, וכעת ראיתי כתוב שמקרי דרדקי אחד שאל למרן ז”ל מה להסביר לתלמידיו ע”ז והשיב כנ”ל, א.ה. ז”ל ר”י אבן שועיב אבל דור הפלגה הכל היה שפה אחת ודברים אחדים והוא לשון הקדש כי כלם היו מדברים בו וכשנתפרדו בעונם נתקלקל הלשון ונתפרדו לשבעים אומות ולשבעים לשון, ונשאר לשון הקדש בישראל ובזרעם ואבדנו ממנו הרבה, ונשאר ממנו קצת בפי האומות, וזהו אמרם ז”ל ריש פרקין דסנהדרין טט בכתפי שתים פת באפריקי שתים, כי הוא לשון הקדש, וכן בראש השנה אמרינן שכן בערביא קורין לדכרא יובלא, כי חלילה שנלמוד מצותינו הקדושות מלשונות הגוים, ושנביא ראיה מלשונם הגרוע, אבל הוא לשון קדש נשאר בידם, והיתה הקבלה ביד חכמי ישראל כי אותו לשון הוא לשון הקדש, עכ”ל, ועי’ עוד בחו”ב מנחות ל”ד ב’ שכתוב בתוך הדברים והנה סבר ר’ עקיבא דלשון לטוטפת עצמו פירושו כמה בתים, ואין צריך למילף מרבויי, והוסיף עוד דאשכחן דטט ופת הם לשונות של שנים וכו’, עי”ש.