חנניה ווייסמאן Chananya Weissman

Reclaiming a stolen mitzvah

One of the most fundamental tenets of Judaism is the mitzvah to love your fellow like yourself. Rabbi Akiva referred to it as a “great rule” in the Torah. When Hillel was asked to distill the entire Torah to a single “sound bite”, he cited this mitzvah, and said everything else is commentary.

It is therefore especially tragic that we have allowed this mitzvah to be hijacked, twisted, abused, and corrupted to the point where it has lost all meaning in our time. We have allowed those who are most far removed from the Torah, who in fact wage war against the Torah, to pervert this mitzvah into an empty slogan with which to bludgeon its true practitioners.

For years we have allowed the Torah to be desecrated in our streets – with pride! – with nary a peep of protest. We have allowed ourselves to be convinced that it is pointless to object, even counterproductive, whereby we cleverly turn our unwillingness to stand up for the Torah into a mitzvah for having chosen the prudent course of inaction. Really, we are heroic for doing nothing and saying nothing while everything that is dear to us is desecrated. If we protested for the sake of what is most dear to us we might only legitimize our enemies, or provoke them even further, or make fools of ourselves, so best to look the other way. We believe this because it is convenient, not because it is correct.

We live in a society in which terrorists who make the ultimate sacrifice are referred to as cowards, while those who refrain from fighting back lest they further upset their enemies are called brave, and no one laughs out loud. Declarations of war are now referred to as peace treaties, and casualties of war are referred to as painful sacrifices for the sake of peace. This is the best option, the only option, we are relentlessly told until people believe it or wear down. We allow ourselves to tolerate all manner of hypocrisies and absurdities, for tolerance is the new religion, and everything must be tolerated except what God demands of us. That is what God wants most, we are lectured, to tolerate everyone and everything except for God Himself.

In light of this, it is no wonder that we have allowed the mitzvah to love one’s fellow like yourself to become just another painful sacrifice on the altar of tolerance and obfuscation. In the grand scheme of things, this sacrifice doesn’t seem to have been all that painful, either. What does it matter anymore? Let it be their mantra.

So now we are lectured relentlessly that those who would make the citizens of Sodom blush and Noach’s townsfolk cringe must be loved, as much as we love ourselves. The Torah demands it! It is God’s will! If we even harbor a negative thought toward them we are hypocrites, and if we utter it we are criminals, extremists, terrorists who should be locked up before we can strike. Love your fellow like yourself! If you trampled on the Torah, desecrated its very essence, and waged war on God, wouldn’t YOU want people to love you and accept you? Of course, you would. So you must love others who do the same.

We have even been admonished that this mitzvah extends to actual terrorists, to children of Yishmael who have murdered our people. Those who call for these people to be summarily executed and for the blood of our brothers and sisters to be avenged are silenced with calls to love our fellow like yourself. These murderers were created in the image of God, we are told, just like us, and we must love them, just like ourselves, even if they’ve been a bit naughty. The Torah demands it. It is God’s will. It is a mitzvah.

So preach those who couldn’t tell you where this mitzvah appears in the Torah, who couldn’t tell you what this mitzvah actually means according to the Sages who transmitted it to us from the day it was given, and who believe all the mitzvos are merely suggestions that can be reinterpreted or done away with according to the needs and desires of the time. This mitzvah, however, is binding on us, it supersedes all others, and it must be taken literally to the most absurd, even suicidal extremes. We must be willing to sacrifice for the Torah, after all, preach those who sacrifice nothing but the Torah.

It is with this lengthy introduction in mind that we must reclaim this mitzvah as our own. We must reaffirm its true meaning and context, both its broad applications and its inviolable boundaries – boundaries which exist for every mitzvah. Those who wage war on the very notion of boundaries shall no longer be permitted to deny the existence of boundaries for this mitzvah too, and in so doing hijack it for their nefarious purposes.

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The mitzvah to love one’s fellow like yourself appears in the beginning of Parshas Kedoshim (19:18), which not coincidentally is preceded by the prohibitions on sexual immorality. The same Torah that commands us to love our fellow also commands us that we are not permitted to express our love – or act out our desires – however we please. One cannot claim one mitzvah is binding, authentic, or otherwise relevant without accepting all the others. The Torah is a package deal.

One who wishes to convert to Judaism and accept upon himself everything except for a single letter of the Torah is denied. A Jew who accepts the divine origin of the entire Torah except for a single letter is a blasphemer. If you want “love your fellow”, you must accept every “thou shalt not” as well. If you deny a single “thou shalt not”, you have no claim to “love your fellow”. If you claim that God wasn’t really serious about a single “thou shalt not”, then you have no right to impose your strict interpretation of “love your fellow” on anyone else.

If you claim the rabbis made up the laws, it is these same rabbis who emphasized “love your fellow”. One cannot cite a rabbinic teaching as support for his lifestyle if he denies the divine authority of these same rabbis and all their other teachings.

Indeed, the next words after “love your fellow like yourself” are “I am Hashem”, to teach that we are only commanded to love those who conduct themselves with righteousness and bring honor to Hashem, not those who do the reverse (Torah Temima, Avos D’Rabbi Nasan Chapter 26). Rashbam explains that this mitzvah is limited by the word “your fellow”; we are not commanded to love our enemies or the wicked, only our fellows in goodness and Godliness.

Those who claim that certain mitzvos do not apply to them – nay, that only this mitzvah does apply to them – must be informed that we are only commanded to love our fellows in Torah and fear of Heaven. To the extent that they believe “thou shalt nots” do not apply to them, the mitzvah to love them does not apply to us. Quite the contrary. And we must keep this mitzvah not to love them even though it is extremely difficult for us, and we were born with the gene to love all people no matter what…

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Considering the importance our rabbis attached to the mitzvah to love one’s fellow, it’s interesting how little attention is devoted to it in the Gemara and Midrash. We would expect a huge tractate filled with rabbinic teachings on “love your fellow”, yet citations of this mitzvah are sparse and appear in the most unlikely of places. This only underscores how the mitzvah is indeed fundamental and the rest of the Torah is commentary, yet it is also just one mitzvah of 613, and it must be compatible with the other 612.

In Sanhedrin we are taught that certain methods of execution in Jewish courts were favored over others that would be even slightly more painful or disgraceful than necessary, due to the mitzvah to “love your fellow like yourself”.

An “enlightened” skeptic would scoff that truly loving one’s fellow would be not to execute him altogether, no matter what the crime, for we wouldn’t want to be executed no matter what we did. This is nonsense, of course. Loving one’s fellow does not mean allowing an entire breakdown of law and justice, especially since that would have devastating consequences for all our other, innocent fellows. It means meting out justice with compassion and empathy even for the lowest of criminals – but meting out justice all the same. Indeed, no system of law in the world demonstrates the degree of compassion and empathy for criminals and sinners to the extent that our Torah does, all while protecting the need for civilization to remain civilized.

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The truth is that the commandment to love another person just as one loves himself, taken literally, is absurd. Not only is it absurd, it goes against the Torah. If one is traveling in the desert with a fellow Jew, and he has only enough food and water for one person to survive, he must keep it for himself. It is also prohibited for a person to give away too much of his own money to charity lest he become destitute in his own right. Self-sacrifice has its limits, and a literal interpretation of “love your fellow like yourself” is incompatible with the Torah’s actual position. But of course.

That said, we also know that the most basic meaning of a pasuk, the peshat, cannot be disregarded. The Ramban explains that the mitzvah to love one’s fellow equally to himself refers to the obligation to desire only the very best for one’s fellow Jew in all matters, just as one wishes for himself. This mitzvah single-handedly drives away petty competition, ayin hara, jealousy, the begrudging reactions people often have when others find success, especially in areas where one is lacking. Why him and not me? The mitzvah to love one’s fellow like himself urges us to wish only good things for our fellow Jews and to be genuinely happy for them when they find success. To truly love someone is to view their success with satisfaction, as if it were your own.

Needless to say, nowhere in Torah literature will one find in this mitzvah a license to condone evildoing or pardon willful, unrepentant sinners. To do so demonstrates neither love for the other person, nor for yourself, nor for society, nor for the Torah, nor for God. If one is struggling with a particular commandment and truly wishes to perform God’s will, he will receive boundless love and support from His people. Even if he stumbles along the way, he remains “our fellow” so long as he accepts the commandment as binding and wishes to fulfill it. Such a person is truly “our fellow”, for he is all of us, and we shall love such a person just as we love ourselves.

If, however, someone claims that a commandment is not binding, or not relevant, or fabricated by corrupt Talmudic personalities, or simply doesn’t apply to him, then he has excused himself from the fellowship, and is no longer entitled to the privileges of membership. The very preceding pasuk to “love your fellow” is the commandment to rebuke a fellow Jew – which, like every other mitzvah, must be done within proper parameters, but which is a mitzvah just the same.

Even before we are commanded to love a fellow Jew, and immediately after we are commanded not to hate a fellow Jew, we are commanded to rebuke a sinner. This is part and parcel of the loving relationship we are supposed to share with one another. A relationship in which “love” means a blank check to do whatever one desires and receive only approval in return is neither a loving relationship nor a healthy relationship. It is certainly not mandated by the Torah.

The first pasuk of Shema, the most basic of Jewish prayers, commands us to love Hashem with all our hearts, all our souls, and all that we possess. Let us love Hashem, let us love those who serve Him, and let us love those who wish to serve Him even if they are still on the beginning of the road. But they must be on that road, not seeking to blow it up. They must be our fellows.

None of what I have written here is novel. Unfortunately, due to the onslaught of “love your fellow” by those who make a farce of this and all other mitzvos, we need to review that which we already know and strengthen our commitment to it. Let us reclaim this mitzvah as the exclusive inheritance of those who accept the Torah – the entire Torah – and let us proclaim its true meaning with pride.

True Jewish pride.

Chananya Weissman

Why Should We Bother?

I’m human. Sometimes I get frustrated when it seems that no one is even listening, and my motivation to keep trying starts to sink. What’s the point of sitting down and writing another article? It’s hard work, I get more flak than appreciation, this isn’t my job, and I don’t get paid to write. I don’t need to do this.

Even the pats on the back do little to recharge my batteries. Since I don’t really care if people don’t like what I have to say, it’s only fair that I shouldn’t care very much if they do. My goal is to actually make a difference, and you don’t accomplish that by telling people what they already know or what they want to hear. You do that by pushing uncomfortable buttons. When you push those buttons, most people will push back.

If I wanted to be popular, I would stick to safe themes, like “let’s come together in times of crisis”, “drive safely to reduce traffic accidents”, or “don’t forget your child in the car”. If I wanted to be REALLY popular, I would write articles for secular audiences criticizing the Orthodox community, and I would write articles for Orthodox audiences encouraging secular Jews to return to their roots. I do just the opposite. I tell the Orthodox world to take responsibility for its own problems instead of looking for scapegoats and to put Torah principles before social expectations. I tell secular Jews to stop embracing their enemies and hating their own, and to return to an authentic Jewish lifestyle.

As a result, I’ve managed to unite secular and Orthodox Jews – a very rare feat – in disliking me. Even worse, it’s very rare to receive evidence that I’ve actually managed to get through to someone who didn’t previously agree with me, that I moved the needle ever so slightly in the right direction. I have no interest in preaching to the choir; I want to make a difference. If I’m not making a difference, why bother? If you can’t change anyone’s mind, why keep trying? Who needs the tzorus? Why continue to care?

Thankfully, this doesn’t faze me as much as it used to. Over the years I’ve learned to reinforce my motivation to keep trucking along, no matter what, and I’d like to share what I’ve learned to help you do the same. I know I’m not the only one fighting the good fight and trying to accomplish what seems impossible. We need to keep at it, even if it seems like no one is listening, it’s a waste of time, and we’d be better off not bothering.

Here’s what I remind myself when the yetzer hara (sometimes disguised as other people) tells me to stop trying to change the world.

1. Even if you don’t get through to anyone, ever, you still have to try. The Gemara relates that during the destruction of the first Beis Hamikdash, there were elders who kept the entire Torah. Initially they were to be spared from the punishment, but they were prosecuted in Heaven for failing to rebuke the public, and marked for death. The angel Gavriel tried to defend them. He said that he knew with certainly that the people would have rejected their rebuke. Hashem replied as follows: “If that was revealed to you, was it revealed to them?” (Shabbos 55A)

It may indeed be true that you will not get through to a single person. Depressing as that may be, it does not absolve you from trying. Even if you can’t save anyone else, at least by trying you are saving yourself, and your conscience can be clear.

2. Your efforts might bear fruit in ways you will never know about. I used to remind myself of this when I taught kids who came from homes with weak to no levels of halachic observance. It is unreasonable to expect them to change dramatically before your eyes, even if you are the most passionate and dedicated teacher. At the same time, it is self-defeating to believe that your efforts have no impact simply because you see no concrete evidence. You may well be planting seeds that will only blossom many years later, and you might never find out about it in this world.

Just because you don’t receive positive reinforcement doesn’t mean you aren’t making a positive difference. In fact, your efforts are all the more noble precisely because you persist without your batteries being constantly charged.

Another way your efforts can bear fruit is by strengthening other people who agree with you but feel marginalized. This was my mission when I started EndTheMadness nearly two decades ago – not to change the minds of those who are violently opposed to my ideas, but to educate the ignorant and strengthen those who agreed with me but felt trapped in a system that wasn’t working for them.

Maybe you won’t be the one to directly inspire the change. But maybe you will inspire someone else to speak up because you did, and the change will ultimately happen because of the spark you ignited. You might not get the credit you deserve, but this too makes your efforts all the more noble, and no less important.

3. It’s not your responsibility to finish the job, but you’re not free to absolve yourself from it (Avos 2:16). In all aspects of life – all of them – the results are not in our hands.

Jews are always in the minority, and clear-thinking, Torah-true Jews are a tiny minority within the minority. It is entirely impossible according to nature of the world for us to win the ideological wars being waged all around us.

Don’t let that discourage you, though; that’s the way it’s supposed to be.

If we were more numerous and powerful than our adversaries, it would mean little for us to be victorious. It would certainly not demonstrate that we are on God’s side. No, we are supposed to be outnumbered, with the game fixed against us, where victory is a natural impossibility. When we ultimately are victorious – and we will be – it will be unmistakable that God fought for us as we fought for Him.

We have to remind ourselves that just as God granted victory to the few over the many in physical battles in the times of Chanuka and many other occasions, so He will grant victory to the few over the many in the ideological battles that we must fight. It is not our responsibility to calculate the likelihood of success before raising our voice. That is a trap of the yetzer hara for us to give up and surrender – and his only hope to defeat us.

It is God’s job to win the battle for us, in the time that He sees fit. It is our job to continue to show up for battle, to never surrender.

4. A Jew who really believes that God runs the world, and who really believes that every word of the Torah is true, never loses his hope. Sometimes, in spite of everything, you really will reach people and witness a change. But you can only do that if you keep trying. What a shame it would be to put in a massive effort and then stop right before the finish line, simply because you didn’t know it was just one more step forward.

Maybe all my efforts to this point didn’t influence a single Jew to leave galus. Maybe all my efforts to this point didn’t bring about the various other changes I’ve tried to achieve. But one thing you can bank on is that I’m not going to stop trying. If you’ve been fighting the good fight as well, I hope you won’t stop either.

One last push, and we might just get there.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Rabbi Chananya Weissman is the founder of EndTheMadness and the author of seven books, including “Go Up Like a Wall” and “How to Not Get Married: Break these rules and you have a chance”. Many of his writings are available at www.chananyaweissman.com. He is also the director and producer of a documentary on the shidduch world, Single Jewish Male, and The Shidduch Chronicles, available on YouTube. He can be contacted at admin@endthemadness.org.

How good it is that G-d above has never gone on strike,

because He was not treated fair in things He didnt like.

If only once He’d given up and said “Thats it, i’m thru!”

I’ve had enough of those on Earth, so this is what I’ll do:

I’ll give my orders to the sun – and cut off the heat supply!

and to the moon – give no more light, and run the oceans dry!

Then just to make things really tough and put the pressure on,

turn off the vital oxygen till every breath is gone!

You know, He would be justified if fairness were the game

for no one has been more abused or met with more disdain.

than G-d, and yet He carries on, supplying you and me

with all the favor of His grace

and everything for free.

Men say they want a better deal,

and so on strike they go

but what a deal we’ve given G-d to

whom all things we owe.

We don’t care whom we hurt

to gain the things we like,

but what a mess we’d all be in

A call to stand for Kedusha

by Rabbi Chananya Weissman

Where are our leaders?

I’m writing the article that other rabbis don’t want to write because they are afraid of backlash and controversy. I am less afraid of backlash and controversy than being challenged by the Heavenly Court for not writing it. My rabbinic colleagues should be as well, or they are in the wrong profession. Positions of leadership should not be staffed by followers, no matter how scholarly or pious they may be.

To those who find this mussar offensive enough to react to it, I ask one simple question: why does the previous paragraph offend you to the point of reacting, while gay parades through the streets of Jerusalem do not? Why does criticism from an insignificant person like me raise your ire, but the foisting of perverse relationships and gender distortions into our society, media, schools, and legal system doesn’t seem to bother you at all?

If you believe that by ignoring these threats they will eventually go away, the opposite has proven to be true. If you believe that responding to those attacking Torah norms will grant them legitimacy, they have profited far more from your cowering silence. If you are worried about losing your job, I ask you to reconsider what your job actually is. If you are afraid that you will be prosecuted simply for speaking out, I assure you that you still have that privilege, for now. Your ability to speak out has already been eroded, and criminalizing the expression of Torah-true views is definitely on the agenda of those pushing the envelope. It will be much easier to maintain this privilege if you fight for it now than it will be to regain it when it is taken from you.

You also fail 100% of the times you choose not to try.

Why should we care?

This brings me to the following Midrash Rabbah from the introduction to Eicha, section 22. Reish Lakish derives from pesukim throughout the neviim that the rampant avoda zara which was the main reason for the destruction of the first Beis Hamikdash was a movement that gradually took over the nation. At first some people worshiped avoda zara in secret, and no one objected. They proceeded to worship avoda zara behind the door, and no one objected. The avoda zara movement spread to the roofs, then the gardens, then the mountain tops, then the fields, then the intersections, then the public squares, then the cities, then the main streets, and ultimately into the Holy of Holies itself.

Every time the envelope was pushed further, there was an opportunity for the leaders and concerned citizens to protest, and each time they were silent. It is for this reason that the Beis Hamikdash was destroyed, our people were exiled, and we have been lamenting our fate ever since.

This idol worship “movement” bears more resemblance to the traditional-family-destruction movement than you might realize. Chazal teach us that the Jews knew full well that there was no substance to avoda zara, and they only desired it as a ploy to permit sexual immorality in public (Sanhedrin 64A). Indeed, avoda zara was often associated with redefining such behavior as a sacred act, much as today’s “progressives” rename and reframe abhorrent acts to make them sound noble. There is nothing innovative about today’s version of the movement; Koheleth teaches us that there is nothing new under the sun, and today’s gender benders and family deconstructionists are no exceptions. This sort of thing has been going on since the earliest generations.

In the times of the Beit Hamikdash the leaders looked the other way as avoda zara spread throughout the land. When it was still considered a shameful act, they dismissed the practitioners as trivial outcasts, hardly a threat worth their attention. When it emerged from the closet, they still didn’t bother addressing it. They had their shuls, their shtiebels, their Batei Midrash, shiurim to prepare and ceremonies to attend. When it became a full-fledged movement that gradually overtook society, they no longer dared protest. They huddled in their shuls, their shtiebels, and their Batei Midrash and convinced themselves that dealing with matters of national concern was not their job and not worth the consequences.

Before long the tables were turned, and those who dared object to avoda zara found themselves in the crosshairs of those who had taken over, and they suffered the consequences. Message sent to everyone else who might have a problem with it, and message received.

Not only was the Beit Hamikdash destroyed because of this, but also the 480 shuls in Jerusalem, each of which had a seminary (Midrash Eicha, introduction section 13). The rabbis who stayed silent and excused themselves from what went on in society lost their shuls and their positions anyway.

With very few exceptions, the rabbis of our time have followed this erroneous course of inaction while this hefkeirus movement has spread throughout the land, growing more bold and insatiable as the voices of protest have become few and faint. Shall we suffer the same fate again?

Responding to the accusations

Those who dare to speak out against the hefkeirus movement are typically accused of hypocrisy and hatred. These accusations should be easy to deflect, but those standing for Torah-truth tend to be ill-equipped to deal with criticism, and come across as foolish when placed on the defensive. The media has a never-ending thirst for opportunities to make observant Jews look foolish and hypocritical, and unfortunately we play into their hands time and time again.

Worse still, those who allow themselves to be interviewed by the secular press tend to be oblivious to the fact that behind the smiling faces are one-sided vultures on a mission to destroy them. Our people are seduced by the glory of the cameras and microphones, and fall right into their hands. We have to understand that these are not really interviews, but disputations against the Torah before a hostile court. They hunger for the fifteen seconds out of an hour-long interview that they can use to manipulate their audience and push their agenda. Those who cannot arm themselves with proper responses had best not provide sound bites to these sharks, and even those who can had best think carefully before indulging them.

Here are some of their favored accusations, and suggestions for how we should be responding to them. (More suggestions are welcome; this is not intended to be an exhaustive treatment.)

1. Why are you protesting this, but you don’t protest those who speak lashon hara or some other sin?

What they are really suggesting: Our motivations are not pure. Our protest is not really based on the Torah, but raw hatred. Hence, not only are we hypocrites, we are hate-filled people who should be demonized and, when they can further hijack the legal system, imprisoned. They hope to watch the religious Jew flail and stumble in response, proving that he really is a hate-filled hypocrite with no good reason to be objecting.

Response:

a) We don’t condone anyone who violates the Torah. We are protesting this group in particular because it is an actual movement. There is no movement to legitimize lashon hara, child abuse, spousal abuse, etc. While some sins, particularly lashon hara, are rampant and must be addressed through education and other communal measures, there is no movement to legitimize lashon hara, encourage those who are curious about lashon hara to explore it and join a popular movement celebrating it, or to otherwise grow and expand in the name of progress. Conversely, the hefkeirus movement has a far-reaching agenda that seeks to undercut the foundation of the Jewish people, it is organized and well-funded, and it is aggressively trying to take over our society.

b) The Chafetz Chaim is famous for addressing the sin of lashon hara. While that is far from his only contribution to the Jewish people, it was a mitzva he paid particular attention to. Does it make him a hypocrite for choosing one widespread sin to especially address over others? Would anyone call him antisocial or hypocritical for “specializing” in lashon hara when there were other communal issues that received less attention? Of course not. The very notion is absurd, and those who would make such an accusation would only do so as a sinister ploy to delegitimize voices of opposition – just as you are attempting.

2. Why does it bother you if two people love each other?

Response: What you are doing is reframing and redefining an abhorrent act by focusing on a very narrow aspect of this act and disregarding the inconvenient details. Just as selecting a 15-second sound bite from an hour-long interview to promote an agenda is technically accurate but in reality a sinister distortion of the truth, so is rebranding sexual perversity as simply “two people loving each other”. What you are attempting to do is a shameful distortion of the truth.

We have no objections in principle to people loving each other, of course not! But when these expressions of love go against the very foundations of God’s nature and God’s law, then we must object. The mere fact that an act is committed out of love does not purify the filthy or sanctify the profane. The same is true about adulterers who might love each other, or adults who might express their love for children or animals in inappropriate ways. The Torah is our moral guide, and God is the arbiter of proper boundaries for love and everything else.

3. But God made them that way. God must want them to be this way. They don’t have any choice.

Response:

This assertion is fundamentally wrong on so many levels! Let’s take it piece by piece.

a) Let us assume for the moment that there is a gene that determines sexual preference. We will do this simply for the sake of argument, as there is enormous evidence that homosexuality and other such behaviors are learned, often stemming from abusive childhoods.

To claim that because God made someone a certain way absolves them of responsibility for their behavior would mean the death of civilization. By your reasoning, every thief, every murderer, every rapist, every abuser can blame God for wiring him that way and earn the sympathy of his accusers. It’s God’s fault. God made him do it.

No society on earth, religious or secular, allows a genetic predisposition for any behavior or personality trait to be used as an excuse for behaving in an unacceptable way. There is also no other class of people that makes this argument to rationalize their behavior. So this is really nothing more than a sinister attempt to blame God – a God you don’t really believe in and whose authority you don’t accept – for the fact that you do as you please.

In so doing you have amputated the moral conscience from the human being. A sinner who feels remorse and guilt has hope for rehabilitation. A sinner who believes he has no choice, that God made him do it, nay, that God wants him to do it, no longer has hope. You act as if you are doing the sinner a favor by removing his guilt and separating him from his conscience, but you are in fact his greatest enemy, robbing him of his only chance to reconnect to his spiritual source. Your crime is greater than his. We can easily pity those who submit to their temptations, for all of us stumble at times, but how can we pity those who encourage sinners that they have no choice in the matter, and thereby to give up any hope of doing better?

b) You also assume that just because God made someone a certain way, He expects him to remain that way and follow all his natural impulses. How absurd! Were that the case, why would the Torah even need to be written?

Shall we assume that because a child is born uncircumcised that God wants him to remain that way? Shall we assume that one who is born and raised a miser shall refrain from giving charity? Shall we assume that one who has a cruel nature shall commit cruel acts, in accordance with God’s supposed will? You don’t really believe any of this, and if this is the best defense you have for those who engage in forbidden sexual acts, then you had best stop arguing on their behalf.

c) You claim they don’t have any choice. Not only does this fly in the face of the fundamental principle that all people have free choice, it is easily disproven. It is so easily disproven that you surely know it is a lie, and you don’t really believe it.

If gay people really cannot control themselves, how is it that they generally manage without any difficulty to commit their sexual acts in private, in accordance with the secular laws on decency? Why do they not impulsively commit sexual acts the very moment the urge strikes, wherever they may be and with whomever may be the target of their “love”? How do they manage to restrain themselves until they are alone together?

Clearly, they can control themselves. Someone who truly lacks any self-control had best be locked up, for they would be a danger to themselves and all they encounter.

The question, therefore, is the extent to which we can expect them to control themselves. The Torah has expressed God’s expectations on this matter quite clearly. Being that God created the sexual impulse, God created the world and all that is in it, and God has perfect knowledge, we must trust that God would not demand someone to control that which is uncontrollable, nor punish him for failing to do so. Hence, the only logical conclusion is that those with homosexual tendencies can most certainly control their behavior, they are expected to control their behavior, and they are responsible for their actions.

We do not deny that the challenge may be overwhelmingly difficult for some people, and we will lovingly support them and assist them however we can in dealing with the challenges they face. However, we can only do this for those who recognize that it is their responsibility, it is within their capabilities to rise to the challenge, and this is what God demands of them. We cannot support those who blame God for their behavior and reject any sense of personal responsibility and accountability.

4. But really, what’s the big deal what two people do in the privacy of their bedroom, so long as it is consensual and no one is being hurt?

Response:

This challenge is also based on false assumptions, and is nothing but an attempt to minimize the severity of the sin and cast us as religious predators.

First of all, as noted, this is not simply two people doing something in the privacy of their bedroom. This is a movement with a far-reaching agenda, celebrating perverse behavior, encouraging it, aggressively seeking to change social norms, hijack the education system, persecute and prosecute all those who stand in their way. If only this were two people doing something in the privacy of their bedroom! In light of this, we categorically reject your attempt to disarm us from defending all that we hold dear against this onslaught.

Second of all, as Jews we are responsible for one another. Even if this sinister movement disbanded, we would still be concerned about immorality inside the home, just as you expect us to be concerned about other sinful acts that are committed behind closed doors. Indeed, the argument that a crime was committed inside the home does not hold up in secular court. Spiritual crimes cannot be ignored simply because they are kept out of public view, especially those that by their very nature normally occur behind closed doors.

The laws of arayos are particularly emphasized by the Torah because they are the foundation of the Jewish family and all of society. You challenge us why we should care. How can we not care?

Furthermore, Chazal teach in multiple places that wherever gay marriage is enshrined in the law, God brings plagues and destruction that do not distinguish between the righteous and the wicked. We find this by no other commandment. We count on God to protect us when thousands of missiles are raining down upon our cities, that they should strike empty fields instead of causing indiscriminate destruction. We pray to God to protect us from plagues and pandemics that turn every breath we take into a potential death sentence.

This same God has some expectations of us as well. We want God to watch over us and protect us both inside and outside the privacy of our homes. Why should He do so if we allow all manner of wanton behavior to be committed in public and private, contaminating His land and corrupting His people?

Indeed, to turn a blind eye to behaviors that drive God’s protection away would be truly hateful toward those who engage in these behaviors and all those affected by them – which is everyone.

Just as the family and friends of alcoholics, drug addicts, and gamblers intervene to urge their loved one to stop engaging in behavior that is harmful to himself and others, we must do the same. This intervention is not always met with appreciation – quite the contrary – but we recognize it as a loving act by people who care.

It is the same here. Our intervention is not an act of hatred, but an act of love. We care about the people engaging in these behaviors and the impact it has on others. It would be convenient in the short term to let them do as they please without any objection, but knowing the destruction this brings on them on others, we simply cannot do so. If there were no consequences to their behavior, we truly wouldn’t care, but the consequences could not be more severe. We have no moral choice but to intervene.

Conclusion

Our ancestors allowed avoda zara to spread throughout the land, and they excused themselves from objecting. Their indifference led to the destruction of all we had.

Today, while thousands of people march through our streets celebrating the obscene, the overwhelming majority of rabbis and ordinary people are silent, uninterested and unwilling to stand for what is right.

I have no position of authority, no following, and little influence beyond the persuasiveness of my words. I have nothing material to gain from writing this, have no axe to grind, and derive no particular pleasure from inviting enmity upon myself for airing unpopular views. I can easily absolve myself from speaking up about this issue, as most others have done. If it were about me, I would not write this.

But it is not about me. It is about all of us, everything we have, and everything we wish to have. Preserving what we have and achieving what we desire does not come automatically.

I call upon my rabbinic colleagues to rouse themselves and spread Torah truth without shame or fear. I call upon my brothers and sisters to object to any attempt to spread a modern version of avoda zara in our holy land.

Finally, I call upon those who have been lured into perverse lifestyles and corrupt ideologies to take responsibility for their behavior and return to the Torah.

Let us truly be – as God declares us – a kingdom of kohanim and a holy nation.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Rabbi Chananya Weissman is the founder of EndTheMadness and the author of seven books, including “Go Up Like a Wall” and “How to Not Get Married: Break these rules and you have a chance”. Many of his writings are available at www.chananyaweissman.com. He is also the director and producer of a documentary on the shidduch world, Single Jewish Male, and The Shidduch Chronicles, available on YouTube. He can be contacted at admin@endthemadness.org.

From Investor’s Business Daily