העורך Editor

What I Would Call a Partial Victory (Provisionally and Add a Pinch of Salt)

Some results:

  1. All hostages returned in a panic (with Ha’anaka lechumra), including missing persons we didn’t even know they had, plus several hundred terrified Arabs accidentally included in the transport for looking Jewish. And also their (alleged) individual captors hoping we avenge ourselves on them and not the entire area (fat chance).
  2. Qatar and Britain send us all terrorist hideouts (and their families) in sealed biohazard diplomatic packages, carefully marked and itemized, begging Israel not to invade.
  3. Though otherwise unworthy, a spark of the soul of King David now inhabiting some Jewish general merely for acting similarly.
  4. No Arabic on digital (or print) signs anywhere.
  5. Vladimir Putin, stoically impressed, admits he didn’t go far enough in Chechnya.
  6. Calling someone a “[insert the name of a current Israeli politician]” is considered uncouth by even the worst dregs of society.
  7. We have a massive “Kabbalas ol mitzvos” problem with ostensible Arab converts.
  8. Arabs (usually wearing fake tourist paraphernalia for personal protection) don’t even approach the city they know as “Al Quds”.
  9. Any Jews ever supposedly involved in incidents relating to Arabs freed from Israeli dungeons, just in case, plus hefty damages [including So-and-So for good measure].
  10. The state banishes and disinters all Arab POWs to an undisclosed location (Atlantis?).
  11. Distant family members of [current Israeli politicians] have all fled the country and\or changed their surnames.

Moderate me, I would call that a good start at winning the war.

And, oh yeah, if they could resettle Aza with Jews that wouldn’t hurt either.

(Note: I don’t necessarily advise doing the foregoing.)

(I left out all the stuff illegal to write.)