העורך Editor

Have time for a short joke (source)?

General Marshall is in charge of the American Army, and he is visiting his colleague General Goldstein, who is in charge of the Israeli Army. Marshall arrives at the military camp and is greeted by Goldstein.

They both walk around the place, and Marshall asks: “So how are your men?”

“Very well trained, General.”

“I hope so. You see, my men over at the United States Army are so well trained, you see, they’re the bravest men in the world.”

“Well, I’m not so sure about that General,” replies Goldstein. “My men are very brave, too.”

“I’d like to see that,” says Marshall.

So Goldstein calls private Barak and says: “Private Barak! I want you to stop that tank simply by standing in front of it!”

“Are you crazy?” says Private Barak. “It would kill me! Are you some kind of fool?”

Goldstein turns to Marshall and says, “You see? You have to be pretty brave to talk like that to a general.”

I tried reading a pedestrian halacha column on Chanukah…

It went like this (references omitted):

It’s best not to light the Menorah before the customary time by one’s rabbis or ancestors. But if one must leave his house earlier, follow the following instructions:

One who usually lights at night after Ma’ariv, and needs to leave before Tzeis, can light then and pray afterward.

If one must leave earlier, light at Shki’ah. This is preferable to lighting at Plag Hamincha.

If one must leave home before Shki’ah, whether he usually lights at sunset or at Tzeis, can light at Plag, which comes out about an hour before sunset. But the candles must stay burning until half an hour after Tzeis. It is proper to pray Mincha beforehand, but not on account of joining a minyan.

However, since lighting at Plag is unclear (some say this is too early, or one fulfills his obligation only bediavad, or “after the fact”. Also some say Plag occurs right before Shki’ah), therefore:

• Only do so if “forced” to leave the house at that time.

• Some say it’s better to have his wife or another member of the household light on his behalf at the correct time, instead. However…

Silly me. I thought the goal of Torah was Hora’ah! This fearful mention of every mutually-exclusive “opinion” under the sun ad infinitum is a relativist dereliction of duty. Is this “kav kalekav” — the opposite of our ancestors’ general toil and therefore confidence in deciding halacha — our “glory in the sight of the nations?”!

This callow, self-fulfilling-prophecy of halachic inability was written by an ostensible posek (or “Motz”, anyway), yet it need not have been. If you aren’t going to think for yourself, and courageously take a side in the debates, what do we need a talmid chacham for? Let’s employ a secular librarian who can read Hebrew and knows how to give academic summaries of convoluted material!

Download (PDF, 4.9MB)

Reprinted with assumed permission.

אז מה אנחנו רוצים מהחסידים?!

ז”ל המלבי”ם על הושע י”ב י”ד:

ובנביא, ונגד מה שהוכיחו אותם על הכחש והעגלים שעשו, היו משיבים שהם צריכים אל אמצעי בינם לבין ה’, שכן בעת שעשו ישראל את העגל אמרו עשה לנו אלהים כי זה משה האיש אשר העלנו מארץ מצרים לא ידענו מה היה לו, שתחלה היה משה אמצעי בינם ובין ה’ וכאשר נעלם משה מאתם עשו את העגל שהוא ילך לפניהם ויהיה אמצעי בינם ובין ה’, ועפ”ז אמרו גם הם שהם צריכים אל העגלים שיהיו אמצעי בינם לבין ה’ בקבלת השפע, והביאו ראיה שהלא בנביא העלה ה’ את ישראל מארץ מצרים, הרי שגם יצ”מ היה ע”י אמצעי שהוא הנביא, וכן אח”כ בנביא נשמר, כי הנביא היה תמיד אמצעי בהגעת השפע, הרי שצריך אמצעי בהגעת הרוחניות למטה, וע”כ הם עושים את העגלים.

כבר האריך בזה מורנו הרב ברנד שליט”א במאמרו על חידוש תולדות מלאכות שבת בזה”ז (וכי לא תהא כהנת כפונדקית לעומת חידושי הטכנולוגיה?)

וכעי”ז במאמר “ההרגל וההתחדשות” בראש חלק ראשון משו”ת אז נדברו לרב בנימין זילבר זצ”ל.