Superb Anti-Sodom (and Trans) Satire

Groundbreaking Research: Children Were Born with a Jewish Soul in a Secular Body

This satirical article (מחקר פורץ דרך: ילדים נולדו עם נפש יהודית בגוף חילוני) appeared in 14 Now magazine on August 3. I just had to translate key parts because they’re fun. Don’t do this at home. It was written by Gali Bat Horin, the pseudonym of Dalit Laub-Sutter.

Until recently, children born to secular parents were determined from birth to have a secular identity, but new research shows that sometimes the Jewish identity in a person’s soul is different from the one determined from birth according to the identity of an atheist or non-Jewish mother.

The research concludes that in a case where a person is born in a secular body with a soul that does not fit his body, he should be encouraged to live as a member of the religious group that matches his identity or go through a process of adjustment to his Jewish identity, because these children suffer twice: not only were they born to non-religious or non-Jewish families who cannot understand them or satisfy their most basic Jewish needs, they are also persecuted due to the widespread hatred toward Judaism.

The purpose of this document is to ensure that every child born with Jewish identity in Israel and throughout the world will have the freedom to live his life according to his own path.

Continue reading…

From The Jewish Press, here.

So-Called Leadership Won’t Fight According to Torah, so…

Short Neck Syndrome

Many years ago, a wonderful fighter for the Jewish people, Shifra Hoffman z”l, coined a term which I never forgot. She said that our leader, Moshe Rabbeinu, referred to the Jewish nation as “a stiff-necked people” (Shemot 34:9). Now, however, we have become “a short-necked people”. She explained this to mean that when things get difficult for our nation and we reach out to our leaders for help, they put their hands and shoulders up, making their necks very short and say; “Sorry, but what can we do?”

I saw this “short neck” from Major General Yehuda Fuchs, head of IDF’s Central Command. He is responsible for security in the most dangerous areas of Israel. I realize that this is not a simple job and I appreciate the work being done by thousands of soldiers in these areas, but the Major General must give better answers during these challenging days. Instead of assuring Israelis that the difficult situation will be under control, his interviews – after the most recent wave of terror attacks – have been one big: “What can we do?”

Comments such as “We have never seen such violence” or “Thousands of people are working day and night to provide security to the residents of Israel” serve no purpose whatsoever. We know our soldiers are working hard – and we pray for their success – but that does not help the 200+ cars that are getting stoned daily on the roads in Judea and Samaria. Those quotes do not comfort the families who are sitting – and have sat – shiva for loved ones murdered on the roads. We want to see results, not hear sound-bites.

“Short-neck syndrome” means refusing to do the non-politically correct work that needs to be done. When leaders fear the morning newspaper more than the enemy, the task will remain unfulfilled. Every IDF soldier knows what they must do but their hands are tied and weapons locked for fear of being condemned by the ungrateful nations of the world. Israeli leaders – both political and military – are afraid to straighten up their necks, hold their heads high and fight the battles according to Torah values.

Over and over again the Torah tells us how to fight the enemy, but these guidelines don’t fit well in the “play-nice” world of 2023. Why is it that 95% of UN countries treat their enemies as the Torah instructs but when it comes to Israel – the nation that brought the Torah to the world – we have to shoot rubber bullets and ask permission to defend ourselves?

Rabbi Meir Kahane used to say that the IDF should fire rubber bullets – when the Arabs throw rubber rocks… but that will never happen. The violence is getting worse, and our leadership needs to step up their game. No more “short necks”! No more “what can we do?” The time has come for the Jewish fist… and for the Jewish army to use everything at their disposal to end the violence and bring security to Eretz Yisrael.

Am Yisrael Chai!

From Jewish Press, here.

You Think You’re Worshipping in Solitude. In Reality, They’re Spying on You and Writing About It…

BRESLOV IN MY BACKYARD

Finding the essence of prayer in a Jerusalem wadi

I was born in Brooklyn, where davening happens in shuls that are heated in the winter and air-conditioned in the summer. If people get emotional during davening, maybe their whispers are a little loud. But most keep their emotions to themselves.

The wadi in my current backyard — a ravine hugging the edge of Jerusalem — is a long way from Brooklyn.

Those first few nights after we moved in, I was alarmed to hear repeated desperate yells outside my window. But when morning came, I realized that no one was being attacked out there. The screams were coming from a motley group of Breslover chassidim who’d chosen this wadi as their destination for daily hisbodedus — some in the early morning hours, some shrouded in the lonely darkness of the Jerusalem night.

With time, my take on those yells changed from annoying to curious to passionate to inspiring. And my view of the men who visit the raw valley changed, too: from foreign, off-putting wanderers to authentic spiritual seekers.

In Jerusalem of 2021, there are clogged highways and self-checkout in the supermarkets. There are LED signs advertising the next minyan outside the local shtibel and electric scooters zipping up and down the streets. If you’re seeking a place that’s quiet, a place untouched by asphalt or technology, a place to feel small and needy against the vast expanse of creation, then you too might make your way to the wadi behind my building. There you can feel your smallness and His greatness, voice your most intimate needs, and find your deepest self.

Continue reading…

From Mishpacha, here.