Dictators hilariously belabor the obvious (unsure why).
Neglected Books pokes fun at a few dictatorial cliffhangers.
On Gaddafi’s “Green Book“:
[Libyans] may find themselves struggling with the basics of human reproduction without the Great Leader’s wise advice:
Women are females and men are males. According to gynaecologists, women menstruate every month or so, while men, being male, do not menstruate or suffer during the monthly period. A woman, being a female, is naturally subject to monthly bleeding. When a woman does not menstruate, she is pregnant. If she is pregnant, she becomes, due to pregnancy, less active for about a year, which means that all her natural activities are seriously reduced until she delivers her baby…. The man, on the other hand, neither conceives nor breast-feeds. End of gynaecological statement!
And read the memorable conversations between dictators J. Stalin and E. Hoxha.
“What about eucalyptus? Have you sown the seeds I gave you?”
“We have sent them to the Myzeqe zone where there are more swamps,” I said, “and have given our specialists all your instructions.”
“Good,” said Comrade Stalin. “They must take care that they sprout and grow. It is a tree that grows very fast and has a great effect on moisture. The seed of maize I gave you can be increased rapidly and you can spread it all over Albania,” Comrade Stalin said and asked: “Have you special institutions for seed selection?”
“Yes,” I said “we have set up a sector for seeds attached to the Ministry of Agriculture and shall strengthen and extend it in the future.”
“You will do well!” Comrade Stalin said. “The people of that sector must have a thorough knowledge of what kinds of plants and seeds are most suitable for the various zones of the country and must see to getting them.”
Stalin clearly saw that people who had been farming their lands through many generations desperately needed party cadre officers to tell them what to plant. One had only to look at the remarkable results the Soviets had achieved through collectivization to know that.
“No longer mandatory reading, these volumes languish, neglected by all but die-hard loyalists, masochists, and those inclined to morbid curiousity.”
(The original, unabridged dialogue is even funnier. Find it here on Marxists.org for free.)