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Miscarriages
It is known that many married couples have experienced miscarriages. How should they view this? What is the Torah outlook?
R’ Moshe Shapiro taught that the neshama of a miscarriage is a child that belongs to the parents, and not a random neshama that descended from heaven for a tikun (rectification). Furthermore, the suffering of the parents, especially the mother, is an intrinsic part of the tikun of the child. This knowledge, that there is a real connection to the fetus and that the suffering was not in vain, can in itself be a comfort.[1]
Here are the comforting and inspiring words of R’ Moshe Wolfson, who wrote the following in a letter to a woman that had a miscarriage:
In Heaven there is a heichal ha’neshamos — a Sanctuary of Souls — the source from which all the souls come. The final redemption will not come until all souls have left this sanctuary and descended to this world.[2] Each soul has its own unique mission to fulfill in this world and is allotted the lifespan necessary to fulfill that mission.
Some souls belong to a very exalted class. They are of such a sublime nature, so holy, sparkling, and brilliant, that they simply cannot bear to exist in this world for even a short time. However, they too must leave the Sanctuary of Souls so that it will be emptied, and for other reasons known only to Hashem. And so Hashem chooses a particular couple that will draw such a soul down to this world.
It departs its place near the Throne of Glory and is immediately placed in an environment in which it is at home — an environment that is divine in nature. A woman who is with the child carries within herself not only a child, but an entire Garden of Eden as well. A flame from the hidden light of creation shines above the child’s head, and by that light the child sees from one end of the world to the other.
A heavenly angel learns the entire Torah with the child.[3] All this occurs with every Jewish child. However, those special souls of which we have spoken cannot bear to separate themselves from their sublime existence by living in this earthly world. And so they are spared this discomfort and are returned to their Father in Heaven, having fulfilled their mission by leaving the Sanctuary of Souls and residing within their mother, thus bringing the world one step closer to the Final Redemption…
This woman merited to have had as her guest a pure, holy soul accompanied by a divine light, a heavenly angel, and a heavenly Torah. The Master of the Universe had created a beis midrash, a study hall, for this soul within her. And when this soul left her, some of the holiness that had entered her remained, and will not leave her for the rest of her life.
She has merited to bring Moshiach’s arrival closer by offering a sacrifice for this purpose. She is not left with a mother’s usual compensation, but rather all that she has endured has been for the sake of Hashem and His people, not for her personal joy and satisfaction. She has served, not as a worker who awaits immediate payment, but as a loyal soldier, who is ready to suffer wounds in battle, if necessary, solely for the glory of the King…
[1] The Remak (Shiur Komah, 54. Shomer Emunim, Maamar Hashgacha Pratis 15) elucidates that miscarriages serve as a rectification for that which occurred in a previous gilgul. He also explains that the anguish of a lost child that the parents undergo is also part of the calculation. And so Hashem brings everyone under one roof and thereby the necessary rectifications are completed.
