SATIRE: 3 New Ways to Prosecute Trump!

The first charge is easy. Trump was at a rally, with lots of cameras recording and witnesses, and he said “Fight, Fight!

Now, “fight” is a “Fighting word”, so that’s a clear incitement to violence. He even had blood on his face at the time, so his violent intentions are unmistakable. If inciting the Capitol riot wasn’t enough to get him, this should be a slam dunk.

Call it “Stochastic Terrorism“. “Terrorist” is a great scary word to use!

Next up, Attempted Murder-suicide. Trump himself caused the shooting, by his own rhetoric (or, as Jill\Joe Biden put it: “Misinformation”, “Foreign” (read: Russian) dupe, “Flames of division”, et cetera), and obviously nothing the Democrats or their allies might have ever said or done, so that’s real straightforward!

Thirdly, the DIE-ed SS agents were clearly trying to get him and\or his supporters killed. So, throw Trump in the slammer for “Resisting Assassination”, and generally “Obstructing, resisting, hindering or endangering an officer in the execution of the officer’s duties”!

I’m sure there’s more, but I’m not a lawyer…