Meditative Instructions For Friday Night Intimacy: Romantic Kabbalah in R. Moshe Cordovero
How should love, intimacy, and joy be aroused? What is the secret for transforming physical love into a spiritual vehicle? In what ways can conjugal sex become a powerful tool to connect to the Divine? Such questions are addressed by RaMaK, R. Moshe Cordovero (1522–1570), one of the most prolific Kabbalist thinkers in Jewish history. In Ohr Yakar, his commentary to the Zohar, and in Tefillah LeMoshe, his commentary and meditative manual to the liturgy, RaMaK provides guidance on why, when and how to make love.
RaMaK quotes with approbation a 14th century Kabbalistic dictum that a person who has not experienced physical sexual passion cannot truly discover spiritual love for God. He reprimands those who advocate pious sex by using the “hole in the sheet” method. In reality, they wedge an artificial separation between male and female and prevent a truly intimate union. Instead, relying upon the authority of the Zohar, RaMaK argues for a romantic-spiritual experience.
This article contrasts the tantalizing instructions of the RaMaK to the prevalent halachic-moralistic traditions of leading authorities such as the Rambam, Raavad, Tur and Shulhan Arukh who tended to mitigate the pleasure element in sex. In contrast, RaMaK justifies a romantic intimacy that breaks away from the ascetic trend. He frames conjugal sex as a redemptive undertaking that creates harmony in both interpersonal relations and in the spiritual world of the Divine Sefirot.
RaMaK demonstrates the inherent value of love and sex at the proper time and place. He explains why Friday night is most conducive to creating the spiritual transformation. He details the Kabbalistic premises underlying the physical-mystical sexual intimacy as essential to both channeling erotic desire and facilitating the flow of Divine Influx (Shefa).
In sum, this article analyzes RaMaK’s exposition upon the Zoharic ‘secrets’ for arousing passion and then transforming it into a vehicle for spiritual unification. It demonstrates how this is part of a mindfulness practice inherent in the meditative Kabbalah developed by the RaMaK and his colleagues in 16th century Tzfat. The article concludes by suggesting that the RaMaK’s approach is a rudimentary model of what we might call “Kosher Tantra”.